Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"Kickin' over the gas can"

Can A Brother get a Playoff Team?

It's hard being a loyal sports fan in Kansas City these days? The last time the Chiefs won a playoff game (1993) The Oilers were still in Houston, DT had a pulse, Okoye was shredding up Defenses on Tecmo Super Bowl, and King Carl's mullet was still in style. And if Peterson hasn't done enough to tear down his fan base he's now considering selling the naming rights to Arrowhead which is blasphemy. This has got to stop. I suggest bringing back Warpaint.

At least with the Royals there's no false hope. You can pretty much bank on triple digits in the loss column every year. The Blue Crew hasn't even been back to the postseason since they won the Series in 85. I can't imagine the times when the Royals were good in early Fall. Your Sunday itinerary would look something like this:

8:00 A.M.  Wake up. Make a Bloody Mary
9:00 A.M.  Arrive at The Truman Sports Complex. Begin Tailgating
12:00 P.M. Walk your half-drunken ass into Arrowhead. Yell for 3 hours. Watch Mark Ward do the Tomahawk Chop
3:00 P.M.  Return to Parking lot. Switch your Barry Word Jersey for a Saberhagen Jersey. Continue Tailgating
7:00 P.M.  Crawl into Royals Stadium. Yell shit at Goose Gossage for 3 hours.
10:00 P.M. Drink and Drive through the Grandview Triangle.

It would be insane. Now days we trade away all of our talent for some prospects that never make it past AA and we're stuck with our backup shortstop pitching the 9th inning because Jimmy Gobble has a higher ERA than Chris Hamblin at Coors Field.

The ESPY's

Props to JT. He did a good job even though I'd rather see Samuel L host it every year. Plus Rio got a lot of face time. Too bad New York Giants fans were the only demographic eligible to vote. 

The Heartbreakers

I'm off to see Petty at the Sprint Center. I'll have a review of the show later in the week. Also, for those stuck in the Midwest with no possible way get your hands on a double-double let me recommend Five Guys Burgers and Fries. It's the closest thing to In-n-Out this side of the Continental Divide. Holla

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Starting Lineup

I hope I wasn't the only one who stayed up to watch the last out of The Mid-Summer Classic early this morning.  Although Sean Combs ran his version of the New York City Marathon in a faster time (4:14 vs. 4:50) it was still one of the best and most memorable all-star games in recent history. After they finally got done announcing every baseball player who ever lived things began to pick up a bit. 

The first few innings were completely dominated by the hurlers.   Neither team even got on the board until Matt Holliday went oppo in the Top of the Fifth.  J.D. Drew countered in the 7th with a two-run laser of his own to tie the game.  Then things began to get interesting as the fans treated Papelbon like he was on The Gong Show even though the run he gave up was unearned. He most likely needed a police escort(or maybe just a Ford Escort) to get out alive. Thankfully for Paps the AL was able to score a run in the bottom half of the 8th to square the game up and give The Gringo fans a chance to see the Panamanian Devil in action in the 9th and 10th.
Once the contest went into extras it became a game of defensive plays, both good and bad. Miguel "Bissel" Tejada made some unbelievable plays at short to make up for Dan Uggla's lousy play at 2nd. Look for Uggla to win the ESPY for best impersonation of a Toreador. After some camera shots of Commish Bud Selig drooling in his luxury box and a few more stellar innings of pitching the AL finally broke through in the 15th to score the game winner on a sac fly by Michael Young. As great a game as this was I was happy to see it end as I knew I had to wake up  in about five hours to go to work.  I had visions of Selig calling the game a tie and forcing the 7th game of the Series to be played on a neutral site using 10 batters for each team(pitcher and DH) but luckily Brad Lidge was just as tired as I was and wanted to go home.

Big Ups to the Mexicutioner for reppin' KC with 1 2/3 scoreless innings.